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Pam: Good Morning Everyone!We just got back from my follow-up visit with my PCP after my second hospitalization at Brockton Hospital. My Red Blood count is going up and that is great news. The biopsies were all negative of the colonoscopy, so all is good. Charlie hasn't written anything since I was re-admitted to the hospital because he was so worried, as I was. Thank God, I did not need to have a transfusion, and hopefully I will be feeling stronger and stronger every day. I go back to see the knee
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charlie: Knee replacement

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Friday, December 16th 2011

1:21 PM

My Newfoundland Trip

After our tour of duty in Argentia, Bob Makas and I were transferred to different duty stations; with him going to Bermuda and me to Eleuthera, one of the out-islands, just off of Nassau, in the Bahama chain. The Navy must have felt sorry for us, having spent the last year and a half in Newfoundland, which was, needless to say, quite a different climate than where we were  headed. We couldn't wait!

By that time, we had both been in the Navy for almost three years, having  met each other after boot camp, while attending Sonar School in Key West, Florida , after which we were stationed here in Newfoundland.
We agreed that we could save the travel money the Navy gave us if we drove home to Boston, instead of taking the usual commercial plane flight. That being said, and knowing the terrain, it was still a difficult decision for us to make. It would be five hundred miles of mostly unpaved roads through Newfoundland alone, where we'd meet the ferry, the MV William Carson, that would take us to North Sidney, Nova Scotia.
Knowing that Bob's '57 Chevy had a leaky radiator, and a heater that blew more cold air than warm, and us being young and foolish, we decided to give it a try, no driver's side windshield wiper and all.
The year was 1964, and the month of November was just about coming to a close.
What was there to worry about? After all...we did have a spare in the trunk, and jugs of water to keep the radiator topped off.
What were we thinking?
 

So we drew our final paychecks, said good bye to our shipmates, stopped off at our old work station, filled a thermos with hot coffee, and started on our trek. Next stop...Port Aux Basque, Newfoundland...where we'd pick up the Willie Carson. Let's see...five-hundred miles. We're leaving at 0500. With a good tail wind, we should get there by midnight. After all, you're not talking interstates. That's why we gave it a realistic estimate. Again...what were we thinking?

Giving our final wave to the Marine at the main gate, and proudly showing him our transfer papers instead of the usual liberty card, we found ourselves waving to many of the native Newfies as we started off, going through the first part of our trip...that being the town of Placentia just outside of the base. We honked as we passed by Kellys - the local hamburger joint, where we spent many an evening, nursing our Coca-Colas for hours just to past the time. We could see a few hands waving at us from inside the picture window. Seeing that, Bob gave another few toots on his horn. Did they know it was our last drive-by? Probably not!  Things were good, and smiles were plentiful as we continued on through the familiar streets of Placentia. This November 30th happened to be a warmer than usual day. The temperature was close to 35º. Our pea coats in the trunk, and even if we had the capabilities, there was no need to turn the heat on. Our navy issue dungaree shirts were more than enough to keep us warm. Like I said...things were good. 

Everything seemed to go downhill from there. We got our first flat tire  not 50 miles from the base.  It was a routine we knew well. Flats not being a rarity on these dirt roads in and around the eastern part of Newfoundland, we changed it quickly, without saying a word to each other...snow falling now, with a slight wind. Still being in familiar territory, we found a service station right away to have our spare fixed to get ready for the next flat.

To add to our challenges we also had to remember that we couldn't stop the car for more than an hour at a time for fear the engine would freeze. Remember? No antifreeze, and a leaky radiator.

Then, of course, the driver had to reach out the window with the detached windshield wiper to keep the snow from sticking to the glass. It was especially difficult in the middle of the night when the temperature would drop to below zero. 

Speaking of the middle of the night...we couldn't have been more than half way across Newfoundland when, three or four flats later, we stopped to get a bite to eat...each time, of course, hoping to find a nearby service station to get the tube fixed. I can't even remember the name of the town, but it was one of these mid-Newfoundland towns with one short main street, having no more than five of six small stores along old sidewalks. It was almost midnight and we stopped for two reasons. One was to get gas and some food, and the other was to get into someplace warm. We where freezing!

It was almost midnight when we pulled up to a greasy spoon, in the middle of the block.

Bob got two hamburgers and I ordered their hot, open-faced turkey sandwich. Sitting at the bar, and with nothing else to look at other than our ugly faces in the mirror, we watched the waitress as she prepared our meals. There was a couple sitting in the far corner of the room, who could have made up half the population of the town. With Bob's burgers frying on the grille and my turkey heating up on the stove...she walked over to us for small talk.

“You guys Yanks, aye?”

It was known that people could always tell we were Yanks because of our white socks. It could also have been that we talked funny.

She couldn't have been more than twenty years old...a cute little gal, with a strong Newfoundland accent.  One could tell, right away, that she was one of those gals who didn't know how pretty she was...with soft skin, a perfect figure and a face to match.

It wasn't that much after we told her we were headed back to the States, when she asked if we could take her with us.

“Right now?”We asked.

Without batting an eye, and just before she turned to run back to Bob's burning burgers, she said that she'd pay her share of the gas.

Sitting alone now, we looked at each other...and I think, both expecting to hear from the other guy, how crazy it was to even consider the offer.

Bob was first to make his thoughts known.

“Charlie, it is cold in the car. That would certainly take care of that situation.

We grinned, thinking. Then, turning in unison, and with her back to us, and as we were both watching her to make sure she didn't overcook anything.

“How do we get her across the border?”I'm not sure which one of us said that, but we both didn't like him.

Oh well...I still say it was a great idea. 

Our trip...or adventure, or bad decision, whatever you want to call it...proved to take a turn for the worse on this next leg. It was close to 0100 when we pulled away from the restaurant.

It was snowing heavily now. It was Bob's turn to drive.

Continuing on our way, and with our tummies full of that good Newfie home-cooking, we started to look for a gas station. She said the next town wasn't more than twenty miles up the road. The tank was a little over a quarter full. She told us there wasn't anything open close by, but to try the next town.

We found the road getting narrower  and narrower, with trees on each side looking like two solid walls of white trying to crush us between them. The drivable part couldn't have been more than a car and a half wide. There were no other cars in sight now, either way you looked. Ahead was complete blackness with that funnel of snow racing towards the windshield. It was almost hypnotic.

As if on cue, we turned and looked at each other, silently acknowledging that familiar noise coming from out front. It was a sound we both knew so well; the sound of tiny ice crystals hitting the windshield. Neither of us uttered one word as, in unison, we turned our heads back to stare out in front of us. The snow, mixed with invisible particles of ice now, was becoming downright unbearable.  We turned to look at each other again as we started hearing, like someone turned on a switch, the crunching of the front tires as they were breaking through that top layer of ice.    It was obvious now that the temperature was dropping quickly. With both of us leaning forward in our seats, our eyes squinting as if those few inches were going to make our view of what was up ahead...or wasn't...any better.

The heat wasn't working at all now, which also included the defroster...so we had to try not to breath too much for fear of causing the inside of the windshield to fog and ice up. Bob quickly made short of that problem when he opened up his side window so he could reach around with the broken windshield wiper to keep the sleet off. Needless to say, at this point, our Pea Coats weren't in the trunk anymore, and it was looking more and more like we made a bad decision about not taking the waitress along, as more snow and sleet fell. I'm sure we could have thought of something to say to get her across the border.

“Bob,”I said, “Do you think that waitress was kidding about coming along with us?”

“Not at all.” he said, “Are you crazy? She was dead serious. Who wouldn't want to get out of a town like that? Oh shit! It's starting to overheat.”

Bob stopped the car. He ran around back to get a jug of water in the trunk while I went and opened the hood. Putting a big rag on the cap, I opened the radiator just at Bob came around with the water. It didn't seem to take much, but we were glad...slamming the hood and jumping back into the car. It was still cold, but felt warmer just to get out of the driving snow and sleet. Our imaginary comfort lasted no more than a few miles when we got another flat. It wasn't only the wind-driven snow and sleet that made it more difficult to change the tire this time...it was the darkness out in the middle of nowhere. Think about it. Here we were, stopped in the middle of the road, changing a flat with no flashlight. It was my turn to keep my frozen hands from dropping the lug bolts into the snow. And it was now Bob's turn to sort of stand in front of the headlights while trying to reflect some of that light onto the tire, while I changed it. It always felt good, getting back into the car after one of our tire-changing episodes to feel the frozen warmth of the closed car.

That's when Bob mentioned a vibration he felt in the front end. “Something's going on up there,” he said. “Can you hear it, Charlie? Like a slight grinding, and I can feel a vibration in the steering wheel,too.”

I told him that all I could hear were the tires breaking that layer of ice on the snow.

Now to look for another service station before our next flat. While planning our trip, we should have taken our concerns of driving on worn tires more seriously. Somehow it didn't seem that important at the time. 

Just when we thought there was no chance of us ever seeing any signs of civilization again, we came to a building that ended up to be just at the beginning of another town. A small town, but a town just the same. It had a gas pump out front, but the building looked all locked up. We pulled up to the pump anyway, and that's when we saw a dim light in one of the windows in the house on the other side of the building. We hoped it was the owner of the gas station. It was Irving gas, a familiar and welcomed name to us in the area.

Long story short, we knocked on the front door. The guy not only filled up our tank, but he also fixed the flat. And at his suggestion, we even bought a new inner tube, believing him when he said that that one wouldn't have lasted one more flat. It was the trip's sixth flat tire, and actually, it was  one  more of eleven we would end up having throughout our adventure. After telling him of a noise we'd been hearing for the last fifty or so miles, he told us that our left front bearings were going, and wouldn't last that much longer. He suggested we stay the next day, but we told him we were on a schedule to meet the Willie Carson and had to keep going. Hopefully, we could get it fixed when we docked in Nova Scotia, or if we were lucky...in Port Aux Basque itself.

We were thankful for what he had done, but not surprised at all. We knew the character and kindness of these Newfoundlanders quite well. I forget what we left for our friend, but I'm sure it was quite enough to make him smile one of those familiar Newfie smiles. We loved these wonderful people.

Just think back home and I'm wondering how many people would have knocked on someone's door like that, or who would have answered that knock in the first place. Not on your life...for fear of your life. Maybe. Anyway...

Continuing on our way, we finally arrived at Corner Brook, a good-sized town on the north-west corner of Newfoundland. A little history and geography lesson here. We started out from Argentia, in Placentia Bay, in the south-eastern part. It was there that Churchill met Roosevelt to sign the Atlantic Charter...Churchill arriving on the HMS Prince of Wales to have the meeting with Roosevelt on the USS Augusta on 19 August, 1941. Actually, it was a plan for the post WWII settlement.

So that's were we started from, and there's no direct route to Port Aux Basques, which is on the south-west tip. Because of that, we had to drive directly north, then west...across the island, and over to Corner Brook, where we are now...turning then, directly south, and on to Port Aux Basques.

We found the road from Corner Brook to Port Aux Basques to our liking. All paved and a full one wide-lane each way. It was about 0730, and getting close to dawn. I was driving now, singing harmony to Bob's snoring.

I've heard that when one falls asleep at the wheel, that it's hard to say when the last moment of consciousness was. That's just how it happened that morning...and I will never forget it. I don't know exactly when it happened but I no longer could hear Bob's snoring. All I know is that things seemed much more pleasant than they had been the night before. There's no way I could have been aware of it but I'm sure I may even had a slight smile on my face as I was driving down that wonderful road at 60 miles an hour, in Bob's classic, turquoise '57 Chevy. I know, I know...it wouldn't become a classic for another forty years...but I was reeling in my joy then. At least give me that. It was a rough trip. My eyelids were getting heavier and heavier, and all seemed well. Everything seemed so peaceful. Then, all of a sudden, and I have no idea why, I opened my eyes.

Where was I? It took me a few seconds to get my bearings.

That's when I saw them. I swear they were there, walking across the street as bold as could be. Two camels, yes...two camels, meandering like there was no tomorrow, looking quite determined on getting to the other side of the highway.

I startled Bob. “Bob! Look at those two camels!”I felt foolish before I even finished that sentence.

Practically jumping out of his seat. “What? Camels? Where?”Then, turning quickly to look at me. “What!!?

I tried to make short order of the mention of my camel sighting, but he refused to let me forget about it for the rest of the trip. Wise guy!!

He did decide to change the subject for the time being anyway. “How are the bearings doing?”He asked.

“Not so good,” I answered. “They seem to be getting louder, especially in the turns when there's more pressure on them.”

We had no choice. We had to keep going. Another fifty miles and we should be at the docks. All in all, we were just happy to have survived the night. Things were looking up throughout those last few legs of the trip, even with those bad wheel bearings, because nothing could compare with with what we went through the night before. We felt lucky to have survived it. And it seems that the older I get, the more I realize, with passing years, that we should have been more worried than we were at the time. The ignorance of youth. It can be a blessing some time. That whole trip proved that, over and over. Youth? No excuse, we were both twenty two years old. 

It was early afternoon when the Chevy pulled into the town of Port Aux Basques. Driving quickly to the dock, we found that the Willie Carson wouldn't be leaving until 2300. That would give us enough time to have those new bearings put in. Sure enough...all worked out like clock work. One of the longshoremen told us where to go, and who to see. We found ourselves back at the docks at around 1900, just enough time to get in line, then drive the Chevy up the ramp, on to the Willie Carson and into it's slip below decks. Grabbing a couple of burgers, we sat out on the deck, near the bow and ate while we watched the deckhands get her underway. It was cold, but we were enjoying the fact that all we had to do for the next  leg of the trip was relax  while someone else did the driving for a change.  It wasn't long before we were in our cabin. Bob taking the upper, while I took the lower. Warmth. We both fell asleep, tucking those warm blankets under our chins, at about midnight, never opening our eyes until the ship's horn woke us up as it approached North Sidney, Nova Scotia. It was a little before 0700.

It was wonderful!

There wasn't a speck of snow to be seen as looked from the boat to North Sidney. What luck. This trip wasn't going to be half as bad, without snow to deal with. At least that's what we thought.

Bob and I noticed it at the same time, as he drove the Chevy down the ramp and onto the docks. We could see it, as we peered out through  the windshield. There it was...a single snowflake hovering above the hood, slowly descending. Sure enough, it landed and melted immediately as it came in contact with the warm metal of that turquoise hood. Although we somehow knew, we had no way of being sure that it would keep snowing, in different degrees, until we reached the New Hampshire/Maine border, almost one thousand miles later.

Driving through Nova Scotia turned out to be quite uneventful. Just two flats throughout the whole province. We did give ourselves a treat, stopping to eat in Fredericton. This time stretching the time away from the Chevy for at least an hour...all the time, worrying that the engine would freeze, even though we knew it would take a lot longer for that to happen.

We hadn't been out of Newfoundland in almost a year and a half so crossing the border ended up to be quite an occasion. Neither side said anything about the two full cases of liquor we had in the trunk. I think we were both allowed two gallons each, in one form or another. They went easy on us on that score. We had no passports. We knew they weren't needed. Our Navy transfer papers were enough to get us through. The next part, and what ended up to be much more of an occasion than we could have ever imagined, was driving from the customs booth on the American side, and into Maine. We spent the better part of the last two days looking for service stations. Every time we got a flat, our next priority was to get it fixed as soon as possible. There were times when we found one right away, and then there were times when we'd wonder if we'd ever find one, especially back in the middle of Newfoundland. Well, driving those few feet from the customs booth sure changed that. There they were...lined up like capitalism gone amok...and we loved it!

Esso, Flying A, Shell, Gulf, Amoco. You name it, it was there...and all in the space of a half a mile. We both laughed, and I'm sure thought it at the same time. “Good 'ole America! Our flat fixing worries were over!”

Maine was big! It seemed like we were driving through Texas. Here we thought that having crossed the border that Boston was just a hop, skip and a jump away. The rest of the trip would take us a good twelve hours. The only incident I can remember clearly on that leg of the trip was not being able to negotiate one of the steep hills we came to. Remember how I said it snowed from North Sidney to the New Hampshire border? Well, it really did. This event happened in the northern part of Maine. It was a traffic jam...maybe about eight or nine cars were all lined up in a nice little row, with people mulling around their vehicles, talking to each other. It was just a two lane country road, in the middle of no where. One lane in each direction.  It was snowing big, fluffy flakes now, with about two feet of old snow on the sides of the road, and four of five inches of hard car-packed snow on the road. There was no wind. The sun was trying to come out, but was barley being blocked by gray, glowing clouds.

We got out of the Chevy and walked up to the first car to see what was going on. LOL...it was our first contact with non-navy Americans we had in almost two years. Anyway, after a few hellos and 'what's going ons,' we saw what the problem was right away. We found ourselves looking down a long, steep hill. You know the kind. The ones where you can see that steep downhill slope in front of you for about a half mile, and you can also see, very clearly, the up-slope ahead for another half mile. It's all right there, in front of you... Well. The up-slope ahead was covered with cars pointing every which way, and in all sorts of configurations, trying their best to make that hill. You could see that a few of them were off the side of the road, up on the embankments, but most were on the road, with a few people also mulling around, also talking to each other. It was obvious that none, or very few, had made that hill. Just as we got to that first car, to see all of this...it started moving down the hill. I heard one of the people in the group say, “He'll never make it!”With another commenting, “He's got chains, he'll be ok.”

“We'll see,”the other guy said.

Looking more closely at the other side of that 'paved gorge', you could see how people were filling a small path, seemingly wide enough for a car. I remember clearly that this guy had a Buick Roadmaster. We all watched in silence.

Down he went, honking his horn madly as we anxiously watched the big Buick rapidly picking up speed as he progressed down that hill. The people on the up-slope seemed to all turn at once. Then, as if all on cue,  you could see them opening the path to let the big Buick through...maybe. It was racing straight and true, with no wavering at all. This guy was going to make it, if not by friction but just by sure inertia. He came to the bottom of the hill in full stride, looking like a steam steam-roller in motion. We could see the full top of the car now, as he started up that steep hill. We all held our breaths....halfway...a little more...his speed was still pretty good. We lost him in the overhanging trees, as he got three quarters up the hill, so now, all we could watch were the people on the other side, in the middle of their road now, with their backs to us, watching. We just knew that they were also holding their breaths, as they silently cheered him on.

It was simultaneous. Their arms all went up in the air at the same time. It was followed by our cheers...both sounds probably heard at the same time also.

Reality set in immediately after that brief celebration. Now! How were we going to conquer this hill?

Bob and I, along with eight or nine people, approached one of the few houses near us, at the top of our side of the hill. There was a dump truck, full of sand, with a plow on it. It seems they had been talking before about checking it out. Well, we found out that the guy had been plowing throughout the night and  most of the morning before taking a break. With a little coaxing, he finally came out and made a few passes up and down both hills with his plow lowered and his sander going full blast. It didn't take long before the hill was cleared of most of the snow and ice. I'm sure he wasn't on duty at the time, but he sure did make a lot of people happy that day.

Which leads me to take back a remark I made earlier, and say that there are also very nice people in the lower forty-eight, for sure!

Comparatively, the rest of our trip went very well, considering what we went through these past few days. 

We arrived at my house in Boston late that night. And for all intents and purposes, the Chevy did good. After all, amazingly, she got us  back safe and sound. We parked her in front of the house while we went in for some of my mother's cooking. After introducing them to my folks, and exchanging a few pleasantries, we took our first shower since Argentia, went to bed and slept warmly and soundly until well into the next morning. Bob Still had to make that two hour drive to Hudson, NY., so after a nice home cooked breakfast, I went out to the Chevy to bid my friend our final farewells. All our laughing and joking stopped at the sound of silence when he turned the key. What were we thinking? We pushed the Chevy to the corner service station for my friend to have a look at it. Yup! Those freeze plugs weren't enough to do it. The block was split. The Chevy had died, breathing it's last breath the night before.

Bob called his dad, right away, coming right away to pick him up.

Bob was glad. His dad's car had a good heater.

I spent New Years at home, and helped bring in 1965. After a thirty day leave, I went on to Eleuthera, where I stayed until getting discharged in June of '66. Bob went on to Bermuda, getting out at about the same time as me.

I never saw Bob again, after seeing him off, on the day he left my house with his dad. As things go, we went on to live our separate lives. I kept trying to make contact with him via the Internet, in these later years. I never stopped searching. There had to be some mention of Bob. I was determined to find him.

Finally, after many years of trying, on and off, to find him using different sources I finally found mention of his name, using a Google search.

Sadly, it was his obituary in March of 2010. He was living in The Villages, Florida...no more than an hour from where we now go for the winter.

I'm crying now, as I type this. 

 Thinking back, I often dwell of how that waitress issue could have gone if we had taken her with us to the border. I'm sure now that they would have done one of two things....maybe three things.

Sent her back on her own...had us drive her back...or maybe even put the three of us in jail until they figured out what to do with us, without causing some sort of an international incident.

Either way...it would have made one hell of a story.
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Thursday, December 1st 2011

2:44 PM

What I've learned while being a care-giver?

or
Things mothers already know

  • Sharp knives go blade-down in the dishwasher
  • Don't leave the stove unattended while heating milk
  • Food tastes much better when you're not the one who cooked it
  • They should make half-sized Saran Wrap for smaller bowls
  • The bathroom is a good hiding place
  • Washing machines have a separate compartment for the bleach
  • When dicing onions...keep your index finger clear of the blade
  • The Fuller Brush Man hasn't come in years
  • It's mace in eggnog...not paprika!! I'm sure I'll never hear the end of that
  • There's never a fingertip bandaid around when you need it
  • Making the bed every day is a waste of time
  • More detergent does NOT make the clothes cleaner
  • There's really no time to watch The Price Is Right
  • After the meal is over...there's still more work to be done in the kitchen
  • There's a light in the oven
  • Soap suds are very difficult to get up off the floor
  • The mail comes at 4:30
  • The next meal is planned as soon the last dish is put away
  • I need warning before having people for dinner
  • Knives go to the right
  • Be careful how much flour you use when making brown gravy
  • The fork has no friend
  • Dishwashers alone do not make glasses sparkle. And I thought...
  • Everyone should wipe their feet when entering a house
  • Keep the whites separate
  • I'm not allowed to sew anymore
  • Turkeys take four hours a pound to defrost in the fridge
  • Nobody uses mops any more
  • You need to clean the filter after every dry cycle
  • It's called plastic wrap now
  • Floors are the most difficult things to keep clean
  • Folding underwear is waste of time
  • Always compliment the cook
  • All houses should have a dishwasher AND a pan washer
  • Permanent Press isn't
  • There is no time for reading during the day
  • It's a long walk from the clothes hamper to the washing machine
  • There is no use for two quarts of extra brown gravy
  • It's very difficult to wash the floor behind the toilet
  • Folding socks is a waste of time
  • Taking a cat-nap is much better than holding the remote
  • Floor sponges hold no water at all
  • All houses should be one level
  • Never fry bacon in your underwear
  • There's no light in the freezer
  • Three meals a day is far too many
  • Never put any...I mean any, colors in with the whites
  • It's also very difficult to wash the back of the toilet
  • Most day-time phone calls are tele-marketers
  • Please wait till my floor dries before walking on it
  • The bathroom is a good place to cry
  • Maybe they should take off their shoes instead
  • It's incredible how much hair can collect in the bathtub
  • It's not nice to leave clothes where they fall
  • Bring back the old fashioned mop
  • Never say, "What! Meatloaf again?" to the cook
  • BTW...it's nutmeg
  • Sometimes I'm just too tired to have sex
  • Eating Chocolate makes me close my eyes and moan now



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Saturday, October 29th 2011

4:54 PM

Now she's forgetting her crutches and walker

Imagine! She left the couch today and went in to the kitchen only to realize that she forgot her crutches. I guess that must mean that she's feeling better, no?
Or was it because of that sponge bath I gave her this afternoon. Not being able to take a conventional shower until her stitches are out this coming Tuesday (two weeks after surgery), she's been giving herself sponge baths. Everyone certainly knows how satisfying those are. Right!!!!!
Well, today I gave her a sponge bath. It's pretty straight forward, except for the fact that you still can't get the operation wet. To make a long story short, I'll just say that we had many laughs along with way, sprinkled with many giggles. You can imagine the rest. It ended up to be one of my better days. Ut-oh, that doesn't sound right. It was one of her better days. Oops, that sounds worse. What I mean is that it's the first time where she could get up enough energy to stick to it. Even taking the better part of a half hour...Pam was a trooper, for sure. I'm proud of her. 
Then we went into the kitchen so I could wash her hair. I don't have to tell you the two most important facts of life to know...the first is "the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach," and the second is the quickest way to a woman's heart is to wash her hair."
Of course, the latter one being third to...the first two most important fact of life on how to keep a woman happy. The first being something about remembering anniversaries and birthdays, and the second ties in with the first...buy them necklaces and bracelets for those anniversaries and birthdays.
All you young fellows out there....take note!!
See you tomorrow.
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Friday, October 28th 2011

2:24 PM

Pam is doing much better. That's great!!....or is it

Well, Pam's been home for seven days now, and it's been ten since her knee replacement surgery.
She's finally doing much better with her pain, which is a lot better now than a week ago. That's mostly because she has finally gotten into good regimen with her pain meds (that's short for medications...I'm learning so much). At first it was either too little or too many; the former being the worse, because it was very hard for her to do her physical therapy on a regular basis, having all that pain. So, one thing benefits the other, making her exercises the recommended three times a day now, which she had a hard time keeping up with in the earlier stages.
Like I said, her PT (short for Physical Therapist...see?) comes three times a week, and each time she comes she pulls out her goniometer to measure the operated leg. I just love using the trade terms. Makes me feel like I"m pre-med, or something.
Yes, that was goniometer....pronounced goniometer. It's a close resemblance to one of my woodworking tools.

So like I was saying...Pam is doing just great, and getting better day by day. One may think that's all good news. Not so. The guys will be more understanding as to why it's not that great a thing that Pam is moving around much better these days.
Let me back up a bit to better get to what I'm trying to explain here.
For the past forty-two years that we've been married, Pam has had one of those predominant woman's intuitions. What is it?
We husbands can get up from the couch for different reasons; getting a snack in the kitchen, getting the remote from the other chair, maybe a drink of water, getting the TV Guide to see when the game's starting. Here's where being a wife kicks in. It's the intuition where a wife somehow can tell when her husband gets up from the couch to go to the bathroom. It's a sure thing that it reminds her that she also has to go. Why is that? Like I said, it's been happening like clockwork for 42 years. We husbands always have to wait.
Well guys, that all changed this past week. I've been in my glory.
With her walker, it takes her forever to get to the john. As soon as I see her hand reach for the walker, I now jump up from the couch, run to the bathroom, do what I have to, including washing and drying my hands...and when I come out and head back to the couch...Pam isn't even halfway through the kitchen, let alone close to the bathroom.
I'm getting so confident now that I'm pretty sure I could even squeeze in a short shower, and still be dressed before she reaches the hallway. Then there's that telltale warning that she is getting closer; the thumping of the walker on the floor every time she takes one of her four inch steps.

Hmmmmm, maybe even a shave?
Guys!!!!! I'm in my glory. Or at least I was. She's getting better and faster day by day. I guess I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

I'll keep you all posted with her progress
If I'm still alive, that is....


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Wednesday, October 26th 2011

4:41 PM

I took a furlough...then I had to do a wash

Let me set this up a bit for you, before we go on.
It's been more than a week since I've been outside. They were right when they said that the world of a care-giver isn't an easy one. Once in a while you'll find yourself sneaking over to a window, just to open it a crack to get a breath of fresh air. It isn't so much that the patient doesn't want you to do things like that...it's just that you don't want the patient to see you doing something that's not so easy for them to do.
You think this care-giving job is easy?
Today is when it happened. It's well known in the family that Richie and I act more like brothers than cousins.
 
I'll have to call him my savior! My cousin Richie called this morning just before I helped Pam with her physical therapy. When you're injured, or recovering from an operation like Pam's...it's called physical therapy. When you're healthy, it's called exercise. That's not me, that's just the way it is.
Anyway, Richie called and asked if I could come out to play. He was going to an electrical supply house in West Bridgewater, then to Attleboro to window shop at  Harbor Freight. You guys know what that is. For you ladies...Harbor Freight is....well....it's a...well...just think Macy's, or Bloomingdale's, or the biggest ladies shoe store you can imagine; all rolled into one. Hold that thought through the next paragraph.

Hanging up the phone I went into the den where Pam was icing her knee, after that strenuous session with PT (something else I learned. Us medical folks have abbreviations for just about everything). I told her that we probably needed a few things for the house. "One never knows when a light bulb will burn out, or a switch will stop...well....stop switching." I told her, and went on. "I'd better run to a few stores with my Cousin Richie to get some supplies. And besides, Pam...Suzie and the kids will be coming to visit for lunch. you'll be just fine." I said.

To make a long conversation, short...she asked me why I was going out to get electrical supplies and not food. I told her that this is much more important and that I'd get the food tomorrow.
It worked!!
When Richie came, and just before I turned to go out to his car...I detected a hidden smile on Pam's face as I kissed her. I was thinking that somehow she knew.

We had a wonderful time. I kept the window open in the car all the way to Baynes Electric. While Richie was talking to the guy, I walked around the store touching everything in sight. I was in my glory. It was like I had forgotten how it felt. It was like tagging along with my father, years ago, doing things that men do. Will he take me to Home Depot on our way home? I shutter!

Then we shot over to Attleboro, to Harbor Freight. That's when it really hit me. All those tools! Compressors, wrenches, dollies, hatchets, hammers, cutters. I didn't know which isle to go down first. Richie seemed much more relaxed than I. He was used to this.
Sneaking into a corner, I called Pam on my cell to see if she was alright.
"How's it going," She said.
"It's a good thing I came out here. I didn't realize how many things we needed."

After the better part of an hour, we left Harbor Freight without buying anything.
The whole trip took three and a half hours, getting back just in time to visit with two of my grandchildren.
It was good to see Pam...smiling as she does when any of our grand kids come to visit.
Still feeling guilty for having such a good time, I did a wash. A white wash.
I found out today that not many of us men know how to separate the whites from the darks. There's more to it than meets the eye. Things like...what if there's a white shirt with a colored emblem? Or light pink panties? Socks with a thin dark blue stripe at the toe.
It's not easy.
Then there's cold water, cold-hot, hot, warm. Not to mention how much detergent...how much bleach.
The clothes are washing now. I'll just about have enough time to switch them to the dryer before setting the table for supper.
I'll end with one thought.
Why didn't I think of making a liquid detergent bottle like that. You can use the cap to measure, then,  because of the configuration of the bottle and cap, it goes back, without dripping.
Ingenious design. 

I'll have to remember to call my cousin later this evening to thank him for my "day out"

 


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Wednesday, October 26th 2011

1:57 PM

This is not BASED on a true story. This IS a true story. It happened this past winter

Our Breakfast 
 
We had just ordered and were waiting for our breakfast to come. There were the usual ten of us there on our weekly Friday morning breakfast together. We've been doing this for six years now, a fun tradition. It was Pam's turn to pick the place and she had picked Alfie's Restaurant in Ormond by the Sea, a little place on coastal road A1A, in Florida.

I noticed an elderly couple sitting four or five tables over, with him facing me. Noticing his cap with WWII Veteran emblazoned in gold on the front, I went over to him and squatted down at the end of their table making his wife take notice immediately.

After apologizing for the intrusion I asked him where he served during the war. There was no need to say which war, and he quickly answered. "The South Pacific, Guadalcanal, for one."

I shot back, "Ah, August 7, 1942."

His head went back a bit, showing how impressed he was with my remark. It just happens that Iwo Jima and Guadalcanal are my favorite studies of The Big One. I told him how I'd served four and a half years in the Navy in the '60s. He nodded.

He smiled a bit and, without coaching, went on. I reached up a little, and to get more comfortable, I put my forearms on the end of the breakfast table, clasped my hands together for a place to rest my chin as I listened.
I heard his wife telling me to expect a long story. It pleased me.

He went on and on. He told me how he was a foot soldier in the Marines, and how he feared for his life every bit of the way.

I was enthralled listening to it, first hand.

Their breakfast came. I moved aside for the waitress, too engrossed to leave my squatted position. Not wanting to intrude any further, I started to stand. He put his hand on my forearm, keeping me there. Through the corner of my eye I noticed his wife lean back in her chair to listen to a story I’m sure she has heard so many times before. Something told me she wasn't bored at all.
He continued.

 Admiringly, my eyes never left his. As he talked, I began to notice the "experienced," weather-worn features under that old cap. I guessed his age to be late eighties. Peering closer, I began to see that young man of 19 or 20 behind those old, cataract eyes. The intensity was still there, not lost after all these years. My mind wandered, thinking of how it must have been when he came home after the war, not being able to express to his family and friends, what his feelings were while trudging, under fire, through monsoon after monsoon, or how he stood wearing that heavy gear on those hot, sweltering days in the jungle, losing friend after friend, probably never expecting to live to come home at all.

During what seemed to be a lull in the story, and with his eyes filling up, I stood, shook his hand and thanked him for what he had done. Nodding to his wife, I went back to my table.

Pam asked me who he was. I just answered, "A friend. I'll tell you later."

During our meal, my eyes caught his off and on. No smiles were exchanged.

They finished their breakfast first and he put money on the table. They stood and started walking past us to the door. She passed first, then he. Pam noticed me staring over her shoulder and turned to see why. Just as she did, the old soldier was beside us now. He slowed as if to say something to me. Looking up at him, I straightened up in my chair and saluted. He answered it with a return salute. We dropped our arms together.

Nothing else was said.

I still think of him from time to time.

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Monday, October 24th 2011

3:45 PM

The VNA nurse came today

The Nurse from the VNA came today at about noon, mostly for an introduction and to see if there was an actual patient living here named Pam. You all know the drill; date of birth, weight, and all of the other assorted bits of information that it seems the whole world knows by now. Think about it...how many times do we have to repeat the same information, day in and day out...at the doctor's office, checking into motels and hotels, gaining entrance to our grand kid's school, etc. It's a wonder that the the local supermarket doesn't ask us our date of birth, or what persuasion we are.
I digress.
The nurse came today.
I must admit to throwing Pam under the bus more than once or twice, telling the nurse that she wasn't doing her exercises as religiously as she should, and she wasn't drinking enough water. I found that was a big mistake right from the get-go.
She also checked Pam's incision and said it looked wonderful. A rebuilt '57 Chevy looks wonderful...a bikini clad twenty-something, looks wonderful. But an incision? Still tied with stitches? I guess it's one's perspective.

She told Pam that she could leave the bandage off from here on out. That was good news, for sure. Less irritation. The stitches come out a week from tomorrow, which puts it exactly two weeks after surgery. Wow, it'll be one full week tomorrow, which reminds me, I'm out of Ritz Crackers. Out of cheese too. Maybe get a little peanut butter.
Blood pressure was good, also her oxygen was good.
Oxygen!! I don't recall having any oxygen at all when I was a kid. Who knew how much we had in our system. If a person was pink, they had oxygen...if they were blue, they were choking. These days everything's oxygen. They say it should be in the mid nineties. Pam's was eighty- nine. She told Pam to take two deep breaths. It went up to ninety-five. The nurse was happy. Go figure. Are six points that important?

Pam's sister, Sue, came today. A two hour trip, all the way from Connecticut. What a nice surprise that was. Pam was in her glory. Sue brought a wonderful lunch, complete with three great sandwich salads...tuna, shrimp, and egg...along with jars of olives, pickled cucumbers, there were three cheese dips, tonic, crackers, and what-have-you. Thanks Sis!! It was great seeing you. 

Back to reality.
I had Pam go through all of her exercises after the nurse left, survived all thrown projectiles, bad language, and dagger slinging stares without a hitch. It took the better part of an hour. It's been three hours since her exercises and she finally started speaking to me again. I think it was because it took her that long to catch her breath. Ah...that oxygen again. Maybe if she spent more time breathing instead of holding her breath to show how upset she was at me for being such a drill sergeant about her exercises, she'd have more of that precious oxygen in her system.

I could slack off with my persistence but i do love that gal so.




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Sunday, October 23rd 2011

11:27 AM

Things I've learned while being the care-giver for a knee transplant patient



1. While the patient is lying on her back on the bed
  • Never push down on the knee while trying to straighten the leg out those final few degrees (as the doctor ordered). . . without wearing a football helmet and hockey mask.
  • When putting that pillow under her ankle, to straighten out her knee, never use one with a thickness of over one sixteenth of an inch, unless you have a clear escape path to the door.
  • Pertaining to above. Never leave her crutches within arms reach.
  • While doing the quad-lift exercises, never, never say "let's do it one more time," while her hand is anywhere near your crotch.
  • In describing the knee, always pertain to it as 'swollen' and not, "I think your right knee is fatter than your left." (using the word 'swollen' is still borderline). Maybe, "your left knee looks thinner than your right." would be safer.
2. While helping the patient get into bed
  • Following her, on her walker, to the bedroom, never say things like, "Could you go a little faster? The commercial is almost over."
  • While helping the operated knee up on the bed, make sure her other leg isn't, is not... between your legs
3. While she is at rest in living room
  • Never say, "Are you drinking enough water?" If her glass is within arm's reach.
  • While changing her dressing. . . Never say, "Wow, that's a big scar."
  • If she wants to change the station.  Men...these are not normal times. Let her. Or, believe me...you will need a doctor to find the remote.
  • When helping her put on her calf stockings...Don't!!
  • While she's on a blood thinner, never say, "I'm going to have a nice big glass of wine."
Also, when preparing for her to come home, supplies you will need.
  • Ice packs for your forehead, and assorted bruises
  • Dark glasses to hide your black eye....or eyes
  • At least one arm sling...just in case
  • Crutches...for you. Men will understand why it'll be difficult to walk
  • Two bottles of wine
  • One bottle of scotch, for severe circumstances
  • Hide wine and scotch in the cellar
What has been the biggest surprise in all of this...
In our 42 years of marriage, I had no idea Pam knew such language. I've always thought it was reserved for the U.S Navy.
Wait, I was in the Navy. I've learned a few more choice ones this past week.
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Friday, October 21st 2011

3:22 PM

Pam's back home

The Eagle has landed!!
No, no...that sounds terrible.
The Dove has perched!!
That's dumb.
Lemmee think.
Ah...
My Chickadee is home!!
Scratch that. I never did like WC Fields.

Ok, to avoid the risk of making it sound too profound.
Pam's home!!
That should be all in caps, too.

We just got home.
Sorry I didn't get my Morning Report out this morning, but I had to get to the hospital earlier than usual.

We dropped off a few prescriptions on the way home, then Pam got out of the car (she did it on her own)...used crutches to get into the house, managing the six brick front steps...then very nicely maneuvered the six steps in the house. I set her up in a nice straight-backed kitchen chair in front of the TV with her (my) clicker and returned to the store to pick up her script.
When I got back, she was still on the chair, fully decided that she needed a nap.
I just tucked her in. She also sounded very positive, telling me that her pain was a 2.
That's hospital talk for pain. I catch on fast. I've been getting very educated this past week. Let me tell you, a 2 is much better than two days ago when they couldn't get it below a ten for some time, so that was good news for me.
I must confess, as soon as I closed the bedroom door just now, I ran to the fridge and poured myself a tall glass of wine. Pam can't have wine while she's on those pain pills. She'll never know. I'll have to remember to use a little Listerine.

The visiting nurse will be here tomorrow, following up with three times a week. They will be taking out the stitches in two weeks. Also, Pam's doctor says no shower for two weeks, until they come out. Just sponge baths.
Today was on-the-job training day. They brought Pam into a fully, set-up kitchen, with refrigerator, stove, sink, counter tops...the whole nine yards. They even had a make shift, full sized car in the corner. Everything they could think of to train her how to do things when she got home. It was amazing. The only thing they didn't have that I  would have liked to see was a lawn mower, and garden rake. But that's ok...I'm thinking that maybe the visiting nurses will tend to that training.  A little each day is much better.

Suzie is coming this evening with two of the grand kiddies. That should be the best medicine Pam could get right now. She said she's bringing a full chicken dinner, which will be the best medicine for Pops. That's for sure.
So, this will be the last Pam Watch email. Thanks to all for listening to my diatribes through all of this. It always helps to talk to friends when challenges face us, and I thank everyone for being so sensitive with me.
I know that I can get a bit wordy at times. At least that's what Pam says. I know...I know...it's hard to believe.
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Thursday, October 20th 2011

9:18 AM

The Pam Watch continues

Previously on the Pam Watch....
As you can see, I watch too much TV. Let me begin again.

I'll be going back to the hospital soon. It's now 8 am (Thursday). I just got off of the phone with Pam for her daily report.
She had a tougher night than the night before. Seems the pain was quite intense. Reason being is that it's the first night without the nerve block in the front part of the knee, so she said she felt new pains. The good thing is that they did finally adjust the meds to go along with the new situation. Another good sign is that they settled on two pain killers instead of the three she was getting the previous night. So that, without the nerve block, looks like a good sign.
Another thing is that her blood pressure was low during the night, so they worked on getting it back up. She did mention 90 over 68 at one point. I wish I had known that. They should have called me. All they had to do was tell them they saw a spider in her room. That would have done the trick.
I'll mention that to the staff when I get there later this morning.
Oh, they took one more hoses out this morning. I won't go into which one, for fear of embarrassing her. But I can say that Pam said that they'll be waiting to see if she can go on her own. Whatever that means.
Another thing is that they'll be leaving the IV in until they get that blood pressure steady, and back up to normal on a regular basis. Like I said though...that will be rectified when I get there. Maybe I'll bring one of our resident spiders.
She walked a little more yesterday and sat in a chair to eat lunch. They took the brace off while she was in the chair so she could bend the knee. Today it'll be learning to walk on crutches, graduating from the walker. They'd rather her not to use the walker at home.
She'll also be doing stairs today, in preparation for tomorrow's discharge. They were talking about her leaving today, but she wants to stay one more day until her original scheduled date, tomorrow. Not sure, but maybe that blood pressure incident will keep it to tomorrow.

Me? I'm doing just fine...heated up some macaroni last night, along with two meatballs and one hot sausage. Pam made a big pot of gravy, with all of the meat trimmings, before she left. But I do have to make my own snacks. I had no idea it was so easy to make onion dip. Just to let anyone who isn't aware, the instructions are right on the back of the package. Also, I was tempted to cook some of those mushrooms I picked last week, but I'd better wait for Pam's supervision for that. I can't wait.
I'll have to build some sort of tennis referee's chair for her and put it in the middle of the kitchen for when she comes home. She can coach me from there.
I'm starving!
And another thing. I can't, for the life of me, find the washing machine manual. Why in the world did they have to put four dials on top? Just to confuse people? I always thought it was "wash" and "stop."

And I'll have to make my own bacon and eggs this morning, that's one thing she didn't make in advance.
And Pam did all of this while raising three kids? And me?

Oh, I do take the laptop into the hospital, so she's keeping up with her emails. Not quite up to answering them yet, but she does see them.
Thanks for listening. I need to talk to someone in this quiet house.
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